Originally published on the CGS blog on October 9, 2007.
…but Reject LOST’s commercial is more creepy and weird than scary! I guess Darth Vader was booked, and since Vincent Price and Bela Lugosi are both dead, our always entertaining friends at Reject LOST were left to conjure up something even more spooky and dastardly than a really sound international treaty. What could possibly be more spooky and dastardly than a really sound international treaty you might ask? Well, a ghoulishly disembodied voice prounouncing “reform” and “treaty” in a menacing baritone of course! AAAHHH!!!
If you don’t believe me, check it out for yourself…but beware…it’s truly frightening (in its blatant and unwarranted fearmongering)!
Bar your doors. Protect the women and children. Have your pitchfork and/or torch at the ready. “They” (of “them, not “us”) are after your sovereignty!
I just wish those jokers at Reject LOST would have chosen a more hip and modern Pirate-based Halloween theme. “Spooky” is so passe, and fearmongering is much more palatable when spoken with lots “arghs” and “scurvy dogs”. Wouldn’t the SOVEREIGNTY THREATS section of the Reject LOST web site sound better like this?
The Law o’ th’ Sea Treaty’s stated purpose be th’ establishment o’ a “legal order fer th’ seas an’ oceans.” T’ that end, LOST establishes rules governing: navigation o’ th’ oceans, territorial waters an’ straits; marine research; protection o’ th’ marine environment; deep seabed mining: an’ other oceans-related issues.
LOST also establishes UN-affiliated agencies t’ implement th’ Treaty, as well as international tribunals t’ hear disputes between state parties as t’ th’ Treaty’s application. If th’ disputin’ parties fail t’ reach an agreement on the’r own, they be required t’ submit th’ matter fer resolution t’ one o’ LOST’s mechanisms: th’ International Tribunal on th’ Law o’ th’ Sea (ITLOS), an arbitration panel or a special arbitration panel.
In order t’ engage in exploitation o’ th’ seabeds’ natural resources, parties t’ LOST must make payments o’ various kinds t’ th’ Treaty’s International Seabed Captainliness (ISA).
After negotiations on LOST be completed in 1982, th’ Treaty be rejected by President Reagan. ‘t be subsequently signed by President Clinton in 1994 followin’ th’ negotiation o’ a separate accord known as th’ Agreement? that be spake t’ be havin’ addressed Mr. Reagan’s concerns. T’ date, th’ Senate has nay consented t’ th’ ratification o’ LOST.
Argh. Now dat be fearmongerin’ wit’ a proper Halloween season theme, matey!
