White House Staff Scream: "We are all in Uproar!"

Historians are of the opinion that President George W. Bush will go down in the books as possibly the worst president of the United States. Polls published by CNN suggest that Bush is also the most unpopular president in America's history. Americans gave Mr. Bush a 70% disapproval rating on how he is handling his job as the Nation's leader. This does not come as a surprise; with the federal budget deficit nearing $500 billion and national GDP growing at a rate of only 1.9% due mostly to increased exports created by the weak dollar and of course the administration's senseless crusade against terrorism in Iraq, the next president of the United States has his work cut out for him.

What is very curious is that there is a clear attempt on the side of Mr. Bush to better his image before his term in the White House expires. Coming from a man who boasted not too long ago of never reading newspapers and whose Vice President sneered 'so?' when asked how he feels about Bush's 28% approval rating, he now appears almost desparate to improve his image in the few shorts months he has left in office. President Bush does not have a good history of foreign diplomacy because of his linear policy in the Middle East and neglect to adequately address the conflict with Afghanistan. Now Condalizza Rice seems to be in a frantic frenzy flying from North Korea to India negotiating non-proliferation deals.

Today Mr. Bush signed a bill he previously vetoed which will bring mortgage relief to 400,000 homeowners. He also seems keen to work at his image as a humanitarian with giving $48 dollars over the next five years to AIDS, tuberculosis and malaria treatment and prevention. "We are a compassionate nation," said Mr. Bush.

Mr. Bush has also approved guidelines aimed at overhauling America's intelligence-gathering community by bestowing the power of controlling the nation's 16 spy agencies on the Office of the Director of National Intelligence. Now the DNI instead of the CIA will lead talks with foreign intelligence agencies; it will also have more control over its spending and priorities.

All these swift measures taken by the White House strike one as being rather comical. Mr. Bush is like a student at school who has procrastinated all year long and is now hurriedly trying to pull up his grade from an F to a D- by completing all the extra credit assignments he possibly can as fast as he can. Best of luck to you, Mr. Bush!